I’ve done some thinking tonight and I wanna share.
I have always been a little different than most of my friends. Not only because of my origin but also because of how I am as a person. Because I have been away from home for a while, I now notice it a lot. I have very high goals and ambitions set for myself in life and those are not always understood. Sharing those expectations with people can often lead to jealousy, I think mostly because a lot of the time, we don’t have the courage to go for something out of the ordinary ourselves. So, many times, in order to fit in and to get along with people (especially) here, I have to compromise and lay low, so to speak..or write..whatever. What I have found out in the last couple of days is that not even doing that helps. I have always cared too much about what people think of me and I often quiet my own thoughts and opinions just for the sake of getting along. The thing is, it doesn’t work that way. Doing that will just lead to people misunderstanding you. What we think is a reflection of who we are at that moment, and changing who you are and how you act for someone else will ultimately work against you. I’m not saying you shouldn’t still be tactful but I just think there is no point in trying to hide who you really are. I’m sure I’m not the first, second or third person to say this but this is the first time I’m realizing it. So even if it means losing a few people on the way, I hope that being myself a 100 percent will ultimately benefit me and maybe I will even have gained a few friends in the end.