Sometimes, as a songwriter, you wish you had more space to write all the things on your mind. Sometimes, you have to compromise on the clarity, which means that the message of the song becomes less obvious , because the 4 four lines in the verse are not enough. With this blog, I don’t have that problem. So I come here to get the things I can’t find a way to fit into the song, off my chest.
I’m working on a song about a relationship I was in, that ended. Working on a song really intensely can sometimes make you realize things about yourself and about your situation and that’s exactly what has happened over the last 2 days. It’s tough, i’ve come to realize, to see someone you love, move on. It’s tough to see them happy much sooner than you expected, and especially seeing them happier than you are. It shows me in a way how much I have to learn about myself. I am not a bad person and I want her to be happy. But actually seeing that transition, changing her status from being heart-broken to just enjoying life, is heart-breaking in itself, and it’s something I have to deal with. I am not a bad person and I want her to be happy because she deserves to be. Some friends (and some parts of me too) are telling me to try and find someone else, but knowing deep down that you would rather be alone puts a stop to that.
And it’s all upside down. Since we ended things on my terms, I assumed I would be ok with the aftermath. But I was only happy when I knew she was still thinking about me. Now that I’m slowly slipping out of her mind, I am also going out of mine. I guess it’s all just jealousy, which I thought I was above or at least, never had to feel. I’ll try to climb above it now and allow myself to get over her getting over me. It’s the way of the world, which strangely enough is somewhat comforting.
Luckily this is not exactly what the song is about. So I won’t have to cram all of the above into 3 minutes and 40 seconds. I do feel better now, having shared this, shall we call it, predicament. Hope some of you can relate to it and take comfort in knowing that you are not alone.
Goodnight and goodluck,